I hate it when you are having a bad day and everyone takes it personally, like no i hate myself, not you. get the fuck over yourself.
wow i’m actually so glad this post has been made
Some people are so annoying
i like asking a question to someone even though i already know the answer just to see if the person will lie
I am currently at work and they told me I don’t have to clock in till 8:30 and omg I am going to nap so hard in this office. This time change sucks. I’m so tired
— F. Scott Fitzgerald (via kitty-en-classe)
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
— Epicurus (via jarrodis)
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit